She was in fourth grade. Every day was a bear. She said…. She did… They tried… I told her… We were exhausted from the drama and our patience was wearing thin. I’d done my best to encourage niceness. You know, turn-the-other-cheek, forgive and forget, be the better person. He was sick of it. Finally, he...
i really loved your series. i am so thankful for wise husbands who provide balance. i see a lot of those self esteem issues with my boys. it’s interesting to try and decipher their issues. different but equally complex. xoxo
Oh how I love you Patty. You’re so kind and wise…what a great post! Thanks for all the tips, I’ll need them w/ my little Sophia. xoxo, Jess
these have been awesome patty. i hope you put the whole series on your sidebar, so future readers will see them too.
Patty, I have really enjoyed your daily self esteem blogs and have even learned a little, even though my girls are nearly grown. I cried about the bullying. My oldest was bullied and it was really hard to take. I rejoiced in the wonderful ideas/advice. You are wise beyond your years. Thank you for your time and wisdom. Lori
Thanks for being brave, Patty.
I found your blog via Edie’s…..and have been wowed by your series on girls and self esteem. Having an 11 year old daughter, this is very timely for me. I will continue to follow. Thank you!
I adored reading this. I am a mom to 2 girls and couldn’t agree with you more. Thanks for taking time to write this.
[...] don’t have to go somewhere, like a gym, to commit to exercise. Remember my suggestions here, at the end of this post from last year’s 31 Days. The important thing is to move, to [...]
Girls bully differently than boys. Girls are less obvious, more discrete. Alienation, ostracism, ridicule. Deliberate and calculated random exclusions. Spreading of rumors. Emotional tactics. Emotional violence. Prank phone calls, harassing emails, Facebook slanders. Shared texts. Tricks intended to embarrass and humiliate. Whispers. They incite others to act, then sit back and watch. They bully in...
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I would also love to be part of your study when you get started. I think doing groups I’m schools would be wonderful. I wonder if interventions are successful, once bullies have been identified or if preventive curriculum is best. Great job patty!
“If we don’t involve bystanders, we can’t solve the problem. The most dangerous place in a school is the restroom because of isolation. Well, you also can have isolation in the middle of a cafeteria if a bully convinces everybody else not to intervene. If we can show bystanders how to become involved as bystanders,...
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Thanks, Patty. Thanks for being a leader and a teacher not only to your children but also to your community of readers. I admire your perserverence in pursuing this theme. It has been worth it, believe me. You have touched hearts and changed the direction of lives, I am sure.
Great post P! I’m going to read this with our daughter. Thanks for writing…I will be first one to buy your book when you decide to write on…Thanks! Scott
This is such an important topic. Your willingness to confront the topic on a blog like this will reach so many and will hopefully serve as a role model for other parents. Your researching and finding resources has been powerful.
We just saw the movie “To Save A Life” such an important message.
We just saw the movie “To Save A Life” such an important message….thank you!
The Bully. She hurts others over and over again, and may use one or several different tactics to do so. She touches, hits, pulls, bites, pinches, and throws things. She verbally assaults and taunts. She calls names. She gossips. She excludes. She uses cell phones and email and Facebook to humiliate. She takes things that...
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This is such a difficult topic but very prevalent in our schools. You have done an excellent job approaching it.
Ruth
This hits close to home as my sweet youngest is sometimes bullied at church, of all places. Thank you for posting this. Awareness is the first step.
The school bus at the beginning reminded me – that’s where I saw the most bullying take place when I was a kid (not enough supervision).
Let’s start with the bullied; she is the most obvious of the triad. She is quiet and self-conscious. There is something that makes her different, and she perceives this as a fault. Her hair is very curly, and she thinks straight is in. Or her hair is straight as a board and that of the...
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patty, as a psychologist, i can say you are doing an amazing job with all of this. working in schools, i can tell you this is so prevalent. not always in a dramatic way, but often in a silent sly way. you are so right in that all of us have been touched in some way- either ourselves growing up or picking up the pieces in our children or friends’ children. i do think the witness can play a big role in both stopping bullying and allowing it to continue. great job my friend.
bullying breaks. my. heart. we’re taking a tougher stance on it at my school, but bullies can be so very subtle that it’s hard to intervene. and the bullied, like you said, don’t always tell someone. i have a guess on the third in your triad, and those are the ones we are trying to reach and teach. great post, patty!
I am so grateful to you, Patty, for writing this series (and perservering!). I am looking forward to what you have to say about the witness…this is a very important piece of the bullying puzzle. I work most on this piece w/ my kids…I think it’s the most imporant piece. The reason most bullies get away with what they do is that someone (maybe even the bully’s best friend) is too afraid to speak up and risk being bullied or outcast herself.
A 31 Days Series on Nurturing Her Self-Esteem
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