She was in fourth grade. Every day was a bear.
She said….
She did…
They tried…
I told her…
We were exhausted from the drama and our patience was wearing thin. I’d done my best to encourage niceness. You know, turn-the-other-cheek, forgive and forget, be the better person. He was sick of it. Finally, he said,
That’s it!!! YOU are playing a TEAM sport! You will learn what it means to get along with a group of girls. You will learn how to work together with others. You will learn to cheer your teammate on when she is chosen over you. You will learn to celebrate HER successes. You will learn discipline. You will learn how to play positions you don’t want to. You will learn how to do your best and how to encourage your teammates to do their best.
{Which was also followed by, Do you understand me??}
And she did.
*
So much can be learned through participation in sports. In addition to his list, kids can also learn leadership and how to deal positively with defeat, sportsmanship and how to celebrate wins, commitment and determination, self-reliance, focus, balance, time management… the list goes on and on. So Lexi joined AYSO soccer and she loved it. She learned all those things he knew she would and some more. My individual sports dancer girl loved playing on a team. So before we could sign her up for her dance classes, she signed herself up for our school basketball team. And after that season ended, she wanted to play yet another team sport.
And that’s where things started to go downhill. The other girls had played together for some while, and Lexi was rather new to the sport. They began to yell at her, Get out of the way!, MOVE!, and tell her what to do and when. {What’s truly amazing to me is that this all happened right in front of me, as I sat next to their moms. I saw it. I’m sure they did, too. Watch your children! Correct them when they are wrong! Even if you are trying to breed in them characteristics like leadership, you can correct their delivery, I’m glad to see you demonstrating leadership, but you need to use a better tone of voice/choose more appropriate words, like…/know your place/leave that part up to the coach/etc.} She began to hate playing on a team, and starting asking about dance again.
I tried to console her and to remind her of the things she liked about it, but my words did little. But her dad. {How does he know this stuff?} He told her, You stand up straight and look them in the eye and say, I’ll take care of MY job. YOU take care of YOURS. And so she did. And the bullying died down, but her distaste for that sport didn’t go away.
So I would say to you, not all kids love team sports. But there IS something for her out there that she can participate in, no matter her level of fitness or coordination. And if you can find something she loves and encourage her, watch her teammates, watch her coach, and keep communication with her open {always}, you will gift her with an activity she enjoys and life-long lessons that she will be able to apply to other situations in her life. Did you know? Girls who participate in sports:
- have better focus
- demonstrate more leadership skills
- suffer less depression and
- decreased anxiety
- have more confidence
- are less likely to conform to social pressures
- are three times more likely to graduate
- have fewer interpersonal problems
- have better body image
- have better fitness and over-all health
- learn to appreciate what their bodies can do, rather than judging themselves based on what their bodies look like
- enjoy a sense of belonging
- have a better sense of community and
- are likely to aspire to community involvement
- score well on achievement tests
- are more likely to attend college and achieve a bachelor’s degree
- are more likely to stay involved in sport as an adult
- are 92% less likely to become involved with drugs
- are 80% less likely to become pregnant
Don’t know what to try? You asked the right person!
dance*ice skating*weight lifting*swimming*softball*basketball*skiing*skateboarding*high diving*tennis*soccer*track*cross country running*roller skating*cheer leading*clogging*kung fu*gymnastics*hip-hop*futsol*tae kwon do*ballet*golf*synchronized swimming*tumbling*rock climbing*splunking*tap dance*jazz*snowboarding*wakeboarding*surfing*paddleboarding*scuba diving*karate*African dance*raquetball*ju jitsu*water skiing*hiking*bicycling*modern dance*trail running*tri-athelons*mixed martial arts*street dancing*fencing*archery*badmitten*cricket*volleyball*kayaking*shooting*bowling*table tennis*hockey*horseback riding/jumping*handball*motorsports*disc sports*rugby*boxing*squash*roller blading*ballet on pointe*cross country skiing*billards*shooting*lacrosse*crewing*base jumping*skydiving*beach volleyball*speed skating*baton twirling*body boarding*bocce*curling*dodgeball*rope climbing*motorcross*mountain biking*kick boxing*crossfit*tai chi*ballroom dancing*fishing*zumba*powder football*{or plain ol’ football!}*snow shoeing*kite surfing*parasailing*snowkiting*adventure racing*biathalon*marathon*white water rafting*sculling*squash*telemark skiing*skeet or trap shooting*target shooting*field hockey*hurling*polo*waterpolo*backpacking*judo*blogging {just kidding!}
So, yes. Today is day 31, and yet, I seem to be only on day 30. Tomorrow, I will post my summary-my final 31 Days post, and next Sunday, I will post on how faith and religion affect self esteem. I hope you’ll be back.
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