I have a confession.
Last night, this blog almost ceased to exist.
I felt over-exposed,
a side effect of involvement in social media.
But also the result of a wildly creative mind,
lost in the dark,
exhausted from life,
trying to wrap itself around truth.
I have two shoulders that hurt,
and now a knee, too,
and that throws me right into the reality of age
and realization of lack of control,
because, really, there’s always been a lack of control.
I just didn’t acknowledge it.
The mature me does.
I worry about my family
and my friendships.
I am frustrated that I can’t keep my house up,
or be the perfect mom
I don’t really have a place at my job;
I’m useful, or maybe not.
My art here,
my photographs and words,
somedays fit well,
but on many,
they haunt me.
I’m trying to find a balance that doesn’t exist
between home and work and relationships.
And I offer it all here,
on a colorful platter.
I don’t even really say what I want say half the time,
leaving lots of room for vague interpretation,
creating room for vague interpretation.
Then I wake up this morning, only two hours after falling asleep,
and force myself to meet friends at the park to walk.
I breath in.
The sun shines.
Their friendship heals.
And then I remember why.
I do this here, for almost four years now,
for the opportunity to connect.
To share what I love,
to be understood,
to inspire and offer hope.
I risk exposuure for the opportunity of connection
There is healing there.
“Today, be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments, and spend them wisely.”
Share it with us here on Fridays.