Mar 31 2011

Opportunity and Conflict

mountains under cloudy sky
I just want to make the world a better place; I want it to matter that I existed,
she said,
twelve and full of lofty, romantic ideas.
shadows in the snow
Then life happened.
layer of snow
College, career…
Marriage, moves, babies…
Growing and nurturing,
changing and becoming,
dinners and laundry
shopping and bills
planting feeding
playingwalking
runteachtalklisten
obeypunishreadaskwonderprovidearguematuredecideforgetsuccumbsubmitchoose
waitwaitwait
packunpackcleanschedulecallopenundoforgetlistmowmakebaketake
waitwaitwait
supportencouragestruggleargueignoreplan
waitwaitwait
investmentscommitmentspeople
wait
wait
wait.
ripples of snow
And then.
snowball trail in snow
It arrives.
Unexpected,
possible.
tree branch shadows in sparkly snow
An opportunity to make the world a better place.
sparkle in the snow
An opportunity,
wrought with conflict
for the life and the blessings
that abound in this home,
sillouette in shadow
And the desire to make the world a better place.
a door, a path {What do I do?}

*****

Imperfect Prose

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17 comments

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Cathy - March 31, 2011 - 12:07 pm

you look at the four people around you and say

“well, look there. i’ve been making the world a better place all along.”

xoxo

Perfecting Pru - March 31, 2011 - 1:00 pm

I completely agree with Cathy. You have made my day brighter with the photographs and words. Don’t over analyse – it will get you nowhere.

Laura Hegfield - March 31, 2011 - 1:06 pm

What Cathy says is true…the family you have raised, the husband you have loved, the friends and strangers you have connected with…each moment that you have shared your fullness with the world, each time you have acted, loved, offered a word, a prayer a touch compassionately…you have indeed made the world a better place…you only thought you were waiting…but you weren’t Patty…you were fulfilling your twelve year old dream all along.

Wendy - March 31, 2011 - 4:24 pm

Patty, funny how life happens and changes all our plans…. the idealism of a 12 year old comes in contact with reality. It’s a hard one…. I say, take a risk! (and say lots of prayers)

misty - March 31, 2011 - 5:09 pm

oh how this resonates!!!!! (altho, cheekily, can i say i’m so sorry it’s snowy there as i’m surrounded by spring? but that snow… so beautiful!!!)
mamas we are, and we see sort of short-sighted sometimes don’t we? we have memories of college and feeling smart, or we long for the fresh romance of our husbands, or we feel mired in the fact that laundry simply will never, ever, ever be done. or dishes. or, well, life a a mama.
oh, yes. this resonates. i love the final question, the what do i do now, b/cs that’s IT…. it’s the “as we are going” and growing these babes and loving our men, and the yes, neverendingness of laundry (surely there’s a spiritual discipline in there somehwere?)

Cathy - March 31, 2011 - 5:26 pm

Lovely narrative and as the saying goes, charity begins at home. One safe, inspiring, happy home can do so much good for the world.

Beautiful photos, I’ll never look at snow and ice the same way again!

Kala - April 1, 2011 - 1:04 am

Wonderful narrative and images to accompany it.

Southern Gal - April 1, 2011 - 12:29 pm

If the Lord is calling I say definitely go for it.

(The snow never looked so beautiful to me.)

imoomie - April 1, 2011 - 4:43 pm

You have changed the world by raising a daughter that wants to change the world. Job well done, friend.

It feels like our job nevers end, we don’t get a 10 year award, we can’t see what we have accomplished or if we have done anything well…yet, if we perservere, if we don’t grow weary, one day I pray we will see the fruit and hear God say well done. God bless you Patty!

Ruth - April 1, 2011 - 5:06 pm

I agree with the others here. You have already touched those around you and made a difference. You continue to reach out and bless others with your words right here on your blog. I have been inspired by you many times.

Ruth

imperfect prose - April 2, 2011 - 3:32 am

oh patty… with every word, with every click of the camera, you make this world better. even in your weakness, you do, for then, he is strong. you have made my world so much better. that girl, the one who dreams big, she is beautiful, and i see her in you.

joann - April 2, 2011 - 4:56 am

it’s funny how some people make the world a better place without even realizing it. I count you in this category.
By the by, I love how you made the words blend together. It’s how my brain runs sometimes, tripping over words mushed together. I really related.

Joybird - April 2, 2011 - 6:43 am

I say this every week, but truly I mean it every week, WOW, those pictures are just wow. Is that 3rd from the end snow in shadow? Gorgeous. As for the post, I know He will lead you and I pray that you are able to follow well. I do have to agree with the other commenters that you are already making the world better by loving day by day. Not glamorous or obvious but still concretely improving our broken world.

Krista - April 2, 2011 - 10:35 am

Your words are lovely, and the pictures are beautiful! I love the way you captured the snow.

alittlebitograce - April 4, 2011 - 1:58 am

Amazing photo sequence. Your words cause me to think, but I have no coherent answer. I liked it though. :)

Cate - April 5, 2011 - 9:02 am

What everyone else has already said is so true.

But I hear you – I really do.

deb @ talk at the table - April 5, 2011 - 9:40 pm

I sense you are torn..
it’s hard. I imagine someday in the not too distant future we will ( my husband and I ) embrace this more than we do now.
I feel guilty that I’m “only” doing family and community … but only briefly because I know how incredibly important that is too.

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