11/31 & 1440 {111} :: Kindness And Those You Love

there’s an expression that goes something like, we treat those we love the worst. i was completely stunned when i first heard these words… why, for goodness sake, would we ever treat those we love the worst?

i have some pretty good guesses why. because we feel we can be our truest, rawest selves in the presence of those we love. right?

i want to contend that our truest rawest self doesn’t have to be self-centered. when we release and let those negative feelings {anger, hurt, fatigue, frustration} gush out of us uncontrolled, unfettered, we are completely succumbing to ego-centric emotions that bring a certain energy to anyone in the room. and that’s not fair. it’s irresponsible. and it’s certainly not kind.

i’m not saying you have to be sunny and chipper all day, every day. and i’m not saying fake it. i’m suggesting first understanding your own feelings, and then  communicating them to your loved ones. imagine a more considerate control of negative emotions. instead of unleashing it, imagine communicating it to those you love and giving them the opportunity to love you back instead of being hurt by your actions and causing space between you.

if you respond with, i’m sorry, i’m just so angry right now… maybe she’ll understand your need to run on the treadmill instead of listening to her day.

if you say, i’m so tired i can’t think straight… maybe he’ll say, well let me make dinner then.

if you say, it hurts me that she didn’t even call… maybe they will offer you a hug, or an understanding, supportive comment.

if you say, grrr. i can’t believe he pulled that at the last minute of the day… maybe they will understand your need for some quiet, self-nurturing time.

perfect control of our emotions is unlikely. but i think we need to at least try. we need to try to treat those we love the best. it’s one of the highest forms of kindness.

 

moving on to the next layer of our inner circle, we will be chatting about kindness in marriage over the next few days. i hope you’ll join us and offer your thoughts on this topic.

xo

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Buckeroomama - October 17, 2014 - 1:29 pm

I love this post. “Treat those we love the best.” Absolutely! I think it boils down to mindfulness.

Viv @ within the Frame - October 17, 2014 - 2:21 pm

So agree with your thoughts we should treasure the ones we love the best.

Sarah - October 17, 2014 - 4:46 pm

Great things to remember.

lisa - October 17, 2014 - 5:22 pm

What a beautiful post. Truly inspiring words. I’ve also noticed that we treat those closest to us the worst while going out of our way for complete strangers. I believe you hit the nail on the head. If we all would remember how fleeting life is, we’d probably act much differently.

Donna - October 19, 2014 - 12:42 pm

Just what I needed to read this morning. You put into words, what I’ve been trying to express – this desire to become more mature and treat those I love with kindness. Beautiful photos and thoughtful words. I’ll be back for more!

[…] Kindness & Marriage – Finding Serendipity. I try to remember this. Sweet Husband is my greatest ally in this world. I need to remember to treat him that way. […]

10/31 :: Make Your Heart Beat Wildly

 

|| o n e. ||
there is not one fiber in my being that is interested in jumping off 23 foot cliffs into the cool waters of Cherokee Lake. not one. it will never happen. it’s not fear of heights nor lack of courage that keeps me from this accomplishment; i am just NOT.INTERESTED. not even interested in bragging rights. not gonna happen. no way, no how. not ever.

 

|| t w o. ||
also? not interested in running a marathon. not ever. lots of admiration and respect for those who have and those who will… just not my thing. i like my knees. and i like being able to walk. and i don’t want to hate running any more than i already do… all that being said, i will never. never ever. run a marathon.

kindness to one’s self is not only the lack of things unkind. it is the beautiful, nurturing acts of goodness… things that allow your spirit to breathe, AND… things that excite you and give you fuel for the future, energy {and space and joy enough} to be kind and nurturing to others.

it is so very important to do something that makes your heart beat wildly. something that you dreamed of, something that you worked for, something that is out of the ordinary, something that does grant you bragging rights… something that’s a little edgy, or outrageous, that requires at least a bit of courage… something that curls your toes and makes you smile.

what will that be for you? 

is it starting a business?
practicing an art?
painting your front door kelly green?

is it traveling to a new place?
wearing something risky?
trying a new haircut?

is it throwing away something heavy that you’ve carried with you all these years?
saying hello to a stranger?
reaching out to someone in need? adopting a pet?

is it granting grace to someone who has actively, though ignorantly, hurt you?

is it taking a chance on love?

 

what will your brave heart lead you to accomplish?

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 sweet shot tuesday
communal global

There are 1440 minutes in every day… 1440 opportunities to capture a moment of beauty.
What moment of beauty did you capture this week?
Please join us here on Fridays to share.

 

 

 

Emily - October 15, 2014 - 1:48 pm

Beautiful… as always…

Kim S - October 16, 2014 - 11:28 am

I love this. No cliff jumping or marathons for me either. I am in the process of a potential career move and the stress of decision making is upon me. Thanks…good timing as usual. Beautiful photos, too.

Buckeroomama - October 17, 2014 - 1:30 pm

Such gorgeous, gorgeous colors!

9/31 :: {Pause} Inner Circle, Part 2, and The Power of Kindness

A small act of your kindness can change a life. And you might never even know it. 

 

Johann Berlin considers the following in this  TED talk:

Who are you kind to?

No act is too small

Don’t lose hope

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8/31 :: Kindness to Self

 

Source: promulgates

it’s saturday, and i have a heaping plate load of things to do… clean house, for one. edit pics, pick up my daughter from a sleep-over, clean up the kitchen, tend the laundry that’s already summer-saulting… and then there’s our beloved UT {Tennessee, not Texas, y’all} game. so i’m treating myself with kindness in two ways: i’m starting off with my sit-down coffee {not the cup that i carry from chore to chore}, and i’m writing this post. because this IS something i enjoy.

today, i thought i might share some internet-love links with you…

|| o n e . ||  40 Ways To Practice Self-Kindness {Huffington Post}

|| t w o. ||  9 Steps To Mindful Breathing and Rest

|| t h r e e. ||  22 Examples of SocialMedia Kindness

|| f o u r. ||

12 Steps To Self Care

|| f i v e. ||  The Magic of Kindness

 

 

and on pinterest ::

|| s i x. ||

THIS board of beautiful kindness quote pins

|| s e v e n. ||

THIS board with more quotes

|| e i g h t. ||

and lastly, my two boards on kindness… THIS one

|| n i n e.||

and THIS board of printables about kindness.

Southern Gal - October 11, 2014 - 6:08 pm

Ah, when I read the list I can see where I’m not always kind to myself. Thanks for the reminder. i hope you enjoy your game!

Roxi - October 13, 2014 - 3:36 pm

This is sooo good. Thanks.

7/31 & 1440 {110} :: Kindness & A Daily Retreat

i used to ‘reward’ myself at the end of the day… constantly encouraging myself, if you get this {this, this and this} done, then you can … {read} {take your camera up to the field} {scrapbook} {watch that show} {knit} {take a long bath} {get coffee with her tomorrow} {insert that little thing which you love to do}. the problem was, even when i was able to get that list checked off, i rarely had the time or energy for my self-proclaimed reward.

then i decided that getting my family off to start their days successfully was enough of an excuse for an early morning reward. so as soon as the house is quiet again, sometimes as early as 6:30am, i start a load of laundry, get the dishes out of the sink, and then claim my reward.:)usually a cup of coffee and a favorite blog, sometimes a quick adventure with my camera, sometimes morning news and my latest crocheting project… snuggled up in my bed with a cup of coffee, steam rising and fragrancing my room with that warm, earthy scent… the perfect kindness retreat. it is a soft moment in what usually ends up being a chaotic day in our busy lives, and it is so refreshing, so rewarding that it actually motivates me through the day. i still get my list checked off; i just tend to do it with a much better, much more pleasant and much less resentful attitude. {this gift of kindness to myself ends up being a gift of kindness to my family, doesn’t it?}

allow yourself a daily kindness retreat… something small, something you love to help you through the day. it might be a cup of coffee brought in to work, a lunchtime walk with a favorite co-worker, meeting your spouse in the middle of the day, a quiet walk through your favorite boutique… 30 mins to read or bathe or practice your art. it will nurture your spirit and provide you with the fuel you need to be present for and kind to others.

xo

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Roxi - October 10, 2014 - 8:41 pm

Great advice. Days do go better if there is a little self nurturing.

Diane - October 11, 2014 - 6:04 am

Resentment; I found myself thinking about this the other day and now I stumble upon your post and there it is again… Message received! I have a lot of it bottled up, I must deal with it before it breaks me.

[…] Kindness & A Daily Retreat and Kindness to Self – Finding Serendipity. Interestingly enough, my Coach recently emailed me back and one of the things she asked me was how I’m practicing self-care right now. I really think that the biggest way I am kind to myself – and my daily retreat is that hour or so I spend writing every morning. Somewhat ironically, the timing of that hour prompted the question. *Said as I yawn because I got up after sleeping for just 2 hours so I could go to a photography meet-up* […]

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